So I am back in London! I managed to get a flight. We’re in lockdown now, which is interesting. It’s definitely a whole different vibe over here to what it was in Australia. But it’s nice to be home.

Straight back into scans to check out what’s going on in my face.

Life is a fairly constant state of ‘oh shit am I dying again?’

And of course some people say ‘don’t be silly, just move on, it was years ago’ and yeah that would be nice but it’s just not like that.

Only 50% of osteosarcomies live 5 years. And any time could be the point where the universe decides it’s your turn. Even if you sailed through the first round with flying colours. Even if it was all cut out.

A good friend of mine recently found out hers has metastatised (spread) to her lungs, two years later. The monitoring scans didn’t pick it up at all. And surgery found around 100 tumours in her lungs after she presented to the Emergency department with difficulty breathing. That was not a good segue, I am not saying she’ll be one of the 50% to not make it by any stretch, there are treatment options, and a quick google tells me there are some good ones. But I can’t imagine having to face it all again. The chemo, the hospital appointments, and in a time where you can’t have anyone going along with you…

I also have the chest X-rays. Every 3 months. Not that they appear a foolproof technique. I have a regular MRI to check my face too. You’ll remember I pushed to have it in Aus because I’ve been in so much pain in my face. But my surgery team looked at it and said they can’t really tell anything from an MRI and that I’ll need a full body PET-CT Scan, which they organised for me to have within days of my return. I’m grateful for them for getting on this but of course I’m left wondering why I go through the MRIs (and the NHS pays for them, or I [my parents] paid while I was in Australia) if they don’t really even show if I have cancer…

I know they know what they’re doing but… It’s a bit difficult to understand. I would have preferred if my monitoring scans were ones that would actually pick up if I’ve got a recurrence…