I FOUND MY BLOOD TAKING SOULMATE (now, if only I knew his name…)

On the first morning of my stay, I overheard the nurses talking about me when doing the handover. ‘She didn’t complain about pain last night but she did this morning’ Well I just said ‘could I have a paracetamol please’ but ok… And the reason I didn’t ‘complain’ last night because I was naughty and…

The longest night

By day the ward is a living, jovial, caring, nurturing, happy space. By night it turns into an unforgiving beast. By day the nurses are your compatriots, your friends. They sort things out for you, they bring pain relief, they bring smiles, laughs. By night they feel like overlords, snatching you unceremoniously from precious sleep…

Being back in hospital…

When I was at home over the last few days before coming in, with this ever swelling face, I was stressed about how I ‘should’ be, or the things I ‘should’ be doing. I’ve got an event to get to but I’m not feeling well enough. Am I going to be well enough to go…

Friday surgery retraction statement

You know… I probably jinxed it by telling you all it was happening… But I got a call earlier in the week saying they ‘couldn’t find a consultant’ for Friday. I don’t really understand what that means, I thought it was meant to be my surgeon, Mr K who did it. But I guess maybe…

The joy of ongoing appointments

I was talking to someone the other day who was saying that going back to the Macmillan Cancer Centre for appointments is something she fears and finds upsetting. And I get it, there can be a certain sense of PTSD with these things, and constant reminders of the trauma isn’t necessarily what you want. But…

#scancitement – my version of #scanxiety

This post probably has more relevance for my cancer friends and family, the rest of you might not quite understand what I’m going on about, but please bear with me. Here is an insight into the world of regular scans. You might have heard (well… read…) me say before, I don’t get #scanxiety. I don’t…

What the experts say…

There’s a lot of terminology used when it comes to cancer and I think a lot of us are left to piece together the jargon with the help of Google in order to try and make sense of our condition…

Happy 70th birthday NHS

It is the 70th birthday of the NHS. Where to start? I suppose with something that’s obviously close to me. Looking at cancer alone – 50% of people get cancer. That means you, and your mum. Or your partner and your dad. Or your sister and your best friend. I know of people in the…

The final bits…

With the trachy out, it was time to start breathing through my mouth. My nose was entirely blocked so there was no chance of it helping me out. My mouth got so dry. Night time was the worst. I already wasn’t sleeping much, but now my mouth and throat were dry and burning. And I…