So they put this cannula in my hand because they thought there miiiight be an infection in my PICC line (of course there isn’t, but you can’t blame them for trying to cover all bases).

Yeah, it hurt going in.

Yeah, it hurts all the time it is in, either just a dull ache, or a sharp sting. It’s worse when I move.

But, when they put the antibiotics through it, it. is. agonising.

It feels like they’re injecting me with acid that slowly moves up my arm and burns me from within. It hurts like hell.

The other weird thing is that it doesn’t always hurt when they do it. Just sometimes. Like… what?

The doctor told me that they have to use the one in my hand and not the PICC line. Actually he told me off for asking for it in my PICC line each time. But hey, can you blame me? But omg it hurts me, and the poor nurses have to deal with me wailing and crying. Not nice for anyone. Especially not nice when they wake me up at 1am (like last night – that was meant to be my 9:30pm antibiotics, but they couldn’t find any antibiotics until 1am – have I mentioned I miss my old ward?) and cause me that much pain. I’ve cried myself to sleep twice now. The pain does die down eventually at least.

No one knows why it hurts. The best they can offer me is to say ‘it shouldn’t be hurting… there’s no reason for it to hurt… would you like some paracetamol…?
Paracetamol, mate?
You try being in this much pain.

I keep coming across these things that hurt me that ‘shouldn’t’, that no one knows why they do, and that no one has a solution to fix, it’s just something I have to put up with. And if I’m lucky I can have some paracetamol.

Yeah… I’ve got no answers to this one.

Still waiting to hear if I can go home today…

By the way, they have no idea where the supposed infection I had is. Just an unexplained temperature for a couple of days… Who knows! It’s gone now.

Anyway, don’t mind me! Hopefully it’s nearly over! And I can only hope that it doesn’t happen again. Only one more cycle contains this horrible chemo drug that knocks me so much though, so if I can just get through that, we should be on the home stretch!