In the ward – The Cancer Chronicles

So… Phantom sight is a thing

For the first couple of days after surgery, I actively kept my eye closed. As in… it’s been sewn shut, so it couldn’t open anyway. But without even thinking, the muscles around my eye kept working as if they were holding it closed. It took a couple of days to realise i didn’t need to…

And eventually, reader… I escaped.

I was in hospital for 9 days in total. I got out on the Tuesday. My best friend (otherwise known as my surgeon) Deepti was finally back and she popped in briefly on the Sunday. But it wasn’t until Monday (my last night) that we had time for a proper catch up. It was an…

Trying to cope with only one eye…

What struck me is that all the time I was in hospital, no one asked how I was going with only one eye. That is, aside from my ward friends, of course. They were always checking in and happy to discuss anything and everything. C and I would go for walks of the corridor together,…

Drain lyf

I appreciated my ward friends at the time, so much. But it’s only after that I realise just how much they helped me in that time. I woke up every day excited to see them, we went to sleep chatting, curtains around us but open just so we could see each other from our beds….

Out of the darkness and into the arms of love

I didn’t know when I was transferred to the ward, how magic that place would be. It was there I met my new best friends. Like… really. I got to the ward late on the Wednesday. Yes, we’re still only up to Wednesday, two days after surgery. It feels like a lot has happened, doesn’t…

The long night that follows the bright day…

That night, the one after the day with Glenda and Gabby, was a long one. You know the types. My oxygen alarm was going off over and over again. I called the nurse to ask if there was a problem and she said it was just a faulty alarm then disappeared. The alarm kept going….

My Angels

So in March 2018, the award of ‘Angel’ went to Rose. She found me in me darkest days: lost, confused, in pain, basically an absolute mess. She showed me kindness and compassion like I hadn’t yet been shown, and she saved your little Jen. She really did. I don’t know how I would have got…

Anaesthetics, eh?

Not a great one this time. When I spoke to the anaesthetist the day before, we talked through the process and what drugs I did and didn’t like (NO KETAMINE). Among other things, she basically said there are two options to anaesthetise me – one that involves putting monitoring patches on my head and one…

Heroes

I also ran into Claire while I was in hospital. Remember her? She was part of my surgical team from the original surgeries. I’ve seen her every time I’ve been in hospital actually, but she wasn’t in seeing me this time. But I said hi and she came over to have a chat. I got…

Oh the people you’ll meet…

I was in a head and neck ward. So I was there with people who had… well… swollen faces. Familiar swollen faces. With feeding tubes in their noses and patches on their throats announcing that they had, not too long ago, had tracheostomies. Oh how I felt for them. It suddenly felt not so long…