I was in hospital for 9 days in total. I got out on the Tuesday.

My best friend (otherwise known as my surgeon) Deepti was finally back and she popped in briefly on the Sunday. But it wasn’t until Monday (my last night) that we had time for a proper catch up. It was an absolute dream to see her again. I had missed her presence, not just in a surgical sense, but as a person. She is so unique, I’m constantly grateful for her being in my life.

They had taken my morphine pump away, which is a good thing, but I think maybe I hadn’t noticed how much it was doing for the pain. It didn’t seem to be managing it at all, but the pain on that last day was insane. I ended up asking for ice to put on my head, which took hours to get to me. Ice is not easy to come by in the hospital.

On that Monday, just before Deepti came to see me, I had been in the worse pain I’d had thus far. I was lying in my bed groaning. But when Deepti came and we started chatting, my pain went away entirely (I also took some Oramorph) and I was suddenly feeling a lot better for a while.

I’ll just leave that there. I don’t think the pain was all in my head… Well it was physically in my head, but I don’t think I was making it up. But it does go to show how circumstance really can have an effect on pain. Or maybe it just goes to show that Deepti’s presence temporarily cures mine. I’ll go with that.

On the last night, our nurse was named Marius. When I got back to my bed and found out his name from the other girls, I asked if we could sing Les Mis to him and C said ‘no, we can’t – you might be leaving but we have him again tomorrow.’

I sang it under my breath anyway, not out loud (as requested), so I never got to see if he replied with the following line.

‘Marius what’s wrong with you today, you look as though you’ve seen a ghost, some wine and say what’s going on …’

Maris was great. I went to say goodbye to him at the end of his shift in the morning.
C said to him ‘Marius, Jen is leaving today!’
He replied with ‘Are you sure?’
Hahahaha YES I AM, MATE!

And leave, I did. I was sent away with the news that I would have to go back into the cancer centre on Friday, my birthday, the 4th of December. But I was OUT.

Home to my fluffy robe and comfy flat.