When I was transferred to the ward for the second time in 3 days, I was back in a shared ward. Thankfully this time there was no one wailing all night like there had been the time before (I remember writing to my nurse saying ‘just give her sleeping tablets and give me sleeping tablets and all will be well. I’ll meet her in my dreams and calm her down’).
My doctors came to visit me and they said I would be moved into a private room the following day. Aah thank goodness. They checked the flap and I thought Deepti looked concerned so I asked what’s wrong. She said there’s no concern, she was just tired. Poor thing, I can imagine. My goodness these guys work hard.
Once again I thought my trachy was choking me. I was struggling to breathe and I was coughing a lot (it really irritated me, have I mentioned?!!). I wrote down a long note to the nurse, Rose, about how it was my first night and I was feeling stressed about the blood running from my nose and mouth and thought I might be being choked. She was amazing. She put my mind at ease immediately about the choking. And she taught me all about ‘suctioning’ which involved sucking the saliva out of my mouth that I couldn’t swallow (the trachy didn’t allow swallowing). Since at this point my saliva was pretty much just blood, it was nice to suction it for a bit instead of waste another box of tissues.
When it was bed time, I tried to get comfortable and sleep but I couldn’t deal with letting the blood just go everywhere so I was trying to catch it all the time. This meant no time for sleeping. After a few hours, Rose came in and suggested some sleeping tablets. YES PLEASE!
I think they managed to get me about 2 hours of sleep before a cleaner decided to burst in and started trying to clean the floor at about 4am.
When my doctors came to see me the next morning I was a mess. I had cleaned up my face but my gown and bedding were covered in blood and I was feeling pretty damn low. They ordered the nurses to clean everything, as well as change the dressing on my trachy. They also told me that at around 11 I would move to my own room.
I can tell you, by the time I was settled in that room, I felt like a different person to what I had been that morning. I even had my own bathroom! Amazing.
I was so happy to find out Rose was my nurse again the following night. In my mind she was my guardian angel. I knew she would protect me, put me at ease if anything was wrong, help solve my problems. She was also just one of the sweetest, loveliest, most awesome people… I am very grateful I had her that first night in particular, but also for two other nights too.