This morning I made a delicious looking bowl of yoghurt with strawberries, passionfruit and nectarine. I chopped them all up and mixed them in together.
And then dropped the bowl when I picked it up.
I have no feeling in my fingers anymore, it has rapidly declined in the past week. Typing is hard. Holding things is hard. I can’t find things in my bag.
You don’t realise how much you rely on feeling things to know how to hold them. To know how hard to grip it. And when you can’t feel anything you think you’re holding it tight enough. But then your yoghurt and fruit is on the floor.
How much longer will it keep getting worse? And how long will it last? Will it ever get better? Am I facing a future of potentially not being able to sing due to the surgery, and not being able to play any instruments because my fingers won’t work?
So I’m sitting looking at my upturned bowl of fruit and yoghurt knowing I have to go and clean it up. And I’m hungry.
Oh well. Gotta just try to ignore it and move on.
Note: I then made cheese on toast and dropped the plate. I think I should just give up.
Friday night update: now I’ve broken one of our nice wine glasses.