Gratitude and music

All of your messages, your comments… I can’t even begin to say how much I appreciate them. Every single one. I’ll hopefully get around to replying to them all, but just… Thank you to everyone who took the time to reach out. I can’t tell you just how spectacular it feels after having to break some pretty horrible news (to myself and to you all) to have such an outpouring of love and support. I feel so held, so heard, so loved. I think maybe I can do anything with you all by my side.

My dead friend Sarah went through radiotherapy to her head for three tumours in her brain. She went in every day for weeks to get it. I can’t tell you how much I want to pick up the phone and ask her about it. Why didn’t she tell me about it at the time? Why didn’t I ask? I’m sure I did, but I think the last thing she wanted to do when we were hanging out was talk more about the radiotherapy she was having to have every day. We did discuss cancer at times, but our friendship was so much more than that and really, it didn’t come up as often as you might think. We went out and got drunk both on the night before her radiotherapy started, and on the weekend after it ended though, so I know my duties.

So if anyone wants to sign up for taking on that very important role…

I finally got some sleep last night and gosh I’m feeling a bit better for it. I feel very calm and relaxed in this moment before they work out a plan and tell me where I’ve got to be and when. And what social plans I’m going to have to miss out on. I can’t imagine I’ll be able to make it up to Edinburgh for the Fringe Festival anymore…

Well, as a little distraction for you amongst all this less than ideal news, I thought I’d share this gem. Back when my parents were visiting, we had a jam sesh; the three of us as well as my friends Rosa and Sam. It was a lot of fun, just super casual, we just all sort of played and sung through a few songs. Then Rosa and I pulled out a song we love but had never done before. I’d never played it, we’d never sung it, but we recorded ourselves literally making it up as we went along. So it’s pretty raw, but that’s perhaps its beauty. So here it is. Rosa Hesmondhalgh and Jen Eve Taylor bringing you ‘Your Ex Lover is Dead’ by Canadian band Stars.

9 Comments Add yours

  1. Sheila Arter says:

    Just watched, great performance and I just knew you two were going to hug at the end. Friendship at its best.
    Best wishes Sheila

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  2. claire93 says:

    oh wow Jen, brought a big smile to my face and tears to my eyes. What a lovely song & lyrics, beautiful voices, and the hug at the end: the icing on the cake! I’m going to listen to you again ^^

    Like

  3. jenanntuck says:

    My dearest Jen It’s hard to know what to say when your news seemed so bleak but you continue to somehow find the light. You truly embody someone who lives life fully and enjoys the small things, finding joy even through the darkest times. You’re an inspiration! Sending love and hugs to you Jen ♥️🤗🍺

    Jenny Tuck

    >

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  4. Glyn says:

    I feel so small that I didn’t comment on your bad news…. Your ongoing attitude and spirit is inspiring and uplifting and thanks for the video ! You manage to have such fun and can sense the love around you . Don’t let a face mask get the better of you Jen 💪💪💪xx

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  5. Kirralie says:

    Wahhh!!!! That is a BEAUTIFUL tune…
    I’m so glad you shared it 👌❣️

    Like

  6. Jody says:

    I have been reading your words for a long time. I’m always a bit timid on intruding into the comments but I’m always out here cheering you on and hoping for more time.
    More time for your joy and words and love for this life.
    More time for you and your loved ones to be with each other.
    Always sending love from Northern California.
    Thank you for writing your way through everything.

    Jody

    Like

  7. Jayne says:

    I’ve just caught up with your sad news. Sending you the biggest cwtch this Welsh girl can give you xx

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  8. Annie Payne says:

    Sarah, I’m glad she had you as a friend, Jen.
    You would be great as a story teller at the Edinborough Fringe Festival along stories with humour also.

    You can only do. Your ex lover must have been well respected, mine are still waiting to be inorgorated.
    Listened to your JAM , sounds professional , there is beauty & stuff meaningful, I enjoyed, thank you for sharing!
    Annie P

    Like

  9. Annie Payne says:

    A cheeky but real song by you both, Many thanks.
    We”ll stand by you Jen, no matter how far away and in our thoughts often. Profoundly so, because you give so much!!! Love & hugs Annie P

    Like

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