‘A feeling of melancholy and world-weariness’

Today I woke up all panicky. Do you ever have those days? When you have an oppressive feeling of overwhelm? I didn’t sleep much last night. Well I suppose that’s quite standard these days, but with the combination of having had a coffee at 2pm (is that a thing now? Does an afternoon coffee keep…

Happy World Mental Health Day.

In fact without realising in advance, I had an appointment to see my psychologist on World Mental Health day. That’s nice. My mental health is ok. It’s not great but it’s ok. Some days I want to hang out with people, taking my mind off things and creating fun memories. Other times I just want…

So… I went on BBC…

So I had a bit of an exciting day yesterday, you might have seen on my various social media accounts (or the tele for that matter) but if you haven’t… I went on live TV. On BBC2. On the Victoria Derbyshire show. Oh my goodness. The day started with meeting my two Macmillan support team…

Let’s talk jaw stretching!

And let’s also add ‘jaw stretching’ to the list of things you don’t think of having to deal with… So last time I went to surgery clinic, Deepti asked how my jaw opening was going. It was ok. The last I time I had it measured it was ’30’. I’m presuming that’s mm. Apparently 35…

A word about coping…

I look at those pictures of me in the hospital, you know the ones. And it’s almost like I can’t remember them. Like they didn’t happen to me. My mind has done some funny things about that time. It tells me of conversations I had with people, when I know I couldn’t talk. I suppose…

I couldn’t avoid it forever – cancer meets religion

I was hanging out in The Living Room in the Macmillan Centre a couple of months ago, waiting for my clinic appointment when I got chatting to a guy who was likewise wasting time like I was. I’m not sure why we got talking, but we did. It’s not an uncommon occurrence in the Living…

FAQ

There are a few things that I get asked fairly often, so I thought I would put together answers to some of them. Why are you so tired? Someone asked me the other day why I’m so tired, why it’s taking so long to build up my strength. It’s a fair question. I wonder too….

Want some good news? Well I’ve got some!

Friday was a good day. Not only was the sun out, and the weekend just around the corner, I got to see my favourite person, Deepti! Let me start from the beginning. So I’ve got this hard thing in my lip, which basically holds it down my lip up into a very attractive snarl, while…

Teeth thoughts and important (non cancer related) meetings…

People’s reaction to me wanting teeth is interesting. Most people are in the camp of ‘of course, it must be SO difficult without teeth’ but occasionally voicing my desperate wish for teeth gets brushed off with an ‘oh, that’s not an issue, teeth don’t really matter, you’ll get them when you get them’. I’m not…

The future is looking bright

‘Jen, you’re my last patient so you’re going to have to wait a bit.’ Said Deepti as she took in another patient. I smiled. That’s fine, obviously. To be honest I was just really happy to know it was her I would be seeing. ‘Don’t worry, it’s all good’ she said with a thumbs up….