Well that was… Something…

I recently bought a ‘one line a day’ diary. A few friends had mentioned them and I love the idea of writing a small amount each day and then being able to look back on it. But the only length they make is five years. I looked around for maybe a three year one, which…

Last cycle, last day

For now. The big overarching ‘for now’. I swing between feeling celebratory about it and feeling rather a sense of foreboding. It’s been such a ruthless chemo and it was only going to be for a short stint, and it does feel amazing to be at the end of it. But while I’ve been coming…

Obligatory ‘back in chemo’ post

Where are we now in this rolling machine? Back in for chemo. Cycle five, second to last cycle of this treatment. Managing to keep to a three-week cycle means that it sort of comes around quickly but also those days of waiting to see if my temperature will send me into hospital feel very long….

I don’t want to jinx it but…

When do you stop holding your breath? Well probably now because word about town is that doing it for too long is unsustainable. But in terms of going to hospital… I haven’t yet. And it’s day 13. When is the point I can safely say if I haven’t gone in yet I won’t be… Probably…

I’m here, and it’s nice to be alive

It’s always some sort of ‘back again’. To chemo, to hospital, or to home. The constant cycle around and around. This time, it’s back again into Ambulatory Care and The Cotton Rooms, my chemo week is on. Except that it’s not a week, not anymore. They’ve cut me down further to only two days. TWO…

Jen’s window tours of T13

I got my window seat again, and with my favourite view. I could have cried I was so happy. Each time I’m here I seem to have my tour guide duties requested. ‘What’s this big building here?’ A nurse asks, and I have to check twice that we’re talking about the same one. I’m surprised…

Wednesday, 6pm…

*Ring ring*‘Hello, UCLH Urgent care line?’‘Hi, it’s Jen. I just finished chemo last week, and I just spiked a temperature of over 38 and probably have neutropenic sepsis.’‘OK let me ask you some questions. Do you have any problems urinating?’‘No.’‘Does the site of your PICC line look infected?’‘No, no, it’s fine. I’m fine other than…

Back in chemo

Well I’m back in for chemo this week, all my bloods had come out good and ready to go. They’ve decided to knock me back to just three days though. Which was pretty scary to think I’ll only be getting 60% of my chemo each week. But a talk with the Oncologist made me feel…

Escape

I managed to escape. My platelets were still incredibly low, but everything else had bounced back. So with the promise that I wasn’t going to cut myself or run into anything, and that I would rush back to hospital if anything wasn’t quite right, I was allowed to flee to the comfort of my own…

To treat, perchance to dream

The other people in my bay are not really in a good way. Some are better than others, but it’s hard to feel sorry for myself about the hole below my non eye, or whatever else for long when the people around me can’t really even get out of bed. I, of course, spend my…