People’s reaction to me wanting teeth is interesting. Most people are in the camp of ‘of course, it must be SO difficult without teeth’ but occasionally voicing my desperate wish for teeth gets brushed off with an ‘oh, that’s not an issue, teeth don’t really matter, you’ll get them when you get them’.
I’m not sure what the latter reaction is about. People who say it do mean well, and I know the main thing is that the cancer is gone but… Like… Would they think being without teeth is inconsequential if it were them? Eating is difficult, talking is difficult and I still look like there is something wrong with me… Is that something I should feel happy about and that it’s nothing? I know I’ve been through a lot and I am a lot better off now than I was a while ago but it doesn’t mean it’s all better and easy now…
Though people do like to believe I’m better. When I was having chemo I remember someone saying to me ‘oh so you’re getting better now!’ I looked blankly and said ‘well I’ll be getting a lot worse for a while… But yes, the idea is that I will eventually get better…’ Makes me feel for those who’s cancer/illness isn’t as black and white as ‘sick/better’.
But believe me, although I am waiting with bated breath for the day I have teeth, it’s not like I’m putting my life on hold until that day. I’m out doing things and meeting people, I never thought twice about that.
In fact I’m really starting to feel like me again (until I look in the mirror and see my face, but whatever).
This week we had a big meeting at work with a whole lot of our clients. A fairly daunting idea really in light of a year off from work, and not feeling up to full strength, and looking and sounding odd – thinking about meeting new people, catching up with old, having to remember details about things that have happened, presenting to a group of people who don’t have English as a first language…
But we have such fantastic clients. Catching up with the ones I knew was so lovely. They knew what I had been through, they even follow along with my blog (hi!). They were excited to see me and find out how I was going.
And the new ones were also so great and meeting them and chatting was no hassle. When I finished my presentation I even got a ‘Bravo!!!’ from the person I was sitting next to when I returned to my seat.
People are great. Aren’t people great? I really feel like I’ve achieved something this week! Also, it will be my first day of 4 days at work in a row!!! Yes, I will need Friday to sleep. But I’ve managed 4 days. And big days. I think I’ll try keep to this schedule for a few weeks and then see if I can step it up to 5 days.
On top of all this, my bestie turns up from Australia on Saturday. Haven’t seen her for over 3 years. If anyone is at Heathrow on Saturday and sees two hugging, crying girls… That’ll probably be us.
Watch out world, Jen is almost back, with or without teeth! (Though teeth soon, please, thanks)