Eyelids

Amidst all of the information of that week, one other thing was brought to my attention. They’d had to take my eyelids. I was under the impression that they were going to spare them. I was told that this was the best outcome by far, because reconstructing realistic eyelids isn’t really possible. I looked happily…

The Oncologist would like to speak to you…

Through all my cancer adventures thus far, I have had it all mapped out for me. I’ve been told what chemo I needed, what scans to have, what surgery would be done. Great. I’m not the expert, I don’t need to waste my precious energy and headspace on making these decisions, that’s what my medical…

Holding patterns…

The ‘packing change’ surgery knocked me around more than I thought it would. It is the smallest surgery I’ve had, but the ongoing effects of it seemed disproportionately large. Though as my dear friend India pointed out, my benchmark for surgeries is pretty high. So even if this one isn’t as big as others, that…

2 weeks (ish) post op

‘Do you trust me?’ is essentially what Mr. K said to me on that Friday back in November, before we went in to take this second cancer out.‘Yes.’‘Then I’m going to do whatever it takes to get it out.’ I remember agreeing wholeheartedly. I was scared it had come back, I just needed him to…

Antiseptic packing change done.

Well, it seems I made it through another one. I was so chilled, so relaxed when going into the surgery on the Monday morning. Until one of the anaesthetists decided to try his best to change that. First, he came in and said: ‘have you seen an anaesthetist yet?’‘No…’ I replied.‘Oh, well, I’m your anaesthetist…

Ahhh we’re all waiting for results really, aren’t we…?

I went back to the Cancer Centre on my birthday. It’s what had to be done. I wore my sparkly party dress. I hadn’t worn it before, who knew I was saving it for this moment. Mr K brought me in.‘It’s your birthday?’ He asked, ‘Let me get Deepti…!’He disappeared, leaving the nurse and me…

So… Phantom sight is a thing

For the first couple of days after surgery, I actively kept my eye closed. As in… it’s been sewn shut, so it couldn’t open anyway. But without even thinking, the muscles around my eye kept working as if they were holding it closed. It took a couple of days to realise i didn’t need to…

And eventually, reader… I escaped.

I was in hospital for 9 days in total. I got out on the Tuesday. My best friend (otherwise known as my surgeon) Deepti was finally back and she popped in briefly on the Sunday. But it wasn’t until Monday (my last night) that we had time for a proper catch up. It was an…

Trying to cope with only one eye…

What struck me is that all the time I was in hospital, no one asked how I was going with only one eye. That is, aside from my ward friends, of course. They were always checking in and happy to discuss anything and everything. C and I would go for walks of the corridor together,…