Ok, as promised, it is time to report back on my experience with…

REIKI!!!

Reiki was basically exactly what I was expecting. But I promise I really did go with an open mind.

I went in and was asked to lie down on the bed after a brief introduction. There was some lavender oil diffusing in the room, which was nice, and the Reiki man put some calming music on. He told me to close my eyes, which I did. He started by placing a hand on my shoulder and my elbow and held them there for a bit. Then he moved to my elbow and knee. Then knee and foot, then both feet. Yes, you guessed it, he was moving around me, anticlockwise (which stressed me out a bit, surely you’d start clockwise!), putting his hand on various parts of me, pausing and moving on…

…

When he got back up around to my head he put a hand on my forehead which was a bit weird. Something about the forehead feels far too intimate for a random. He then went around me again. And again. Occasionally would touch my elbow with one hand then hover his other hand over my hands. Or over my knees…

The one good thing about all this is that it was freezing, and his hands were very warm. He would also occasionally do some weird sweeping motions off to the side, kind of like he was trying to conjure something with an abracadabra routine. Yes, I was peaking when I thought he wasn’t watching. Though he had said I could open my eyes at any point, and also to tell him to stop if it became too much… not sure what was meant to become too much.

Half an hour later it was over…

Ok…

‘Woah, that would have been weird, hey?’ He said to me when I opened my eyes. ‘First time of Reiki, must have been wondering what this crazy person was doing.’ I mean… you said the ‘c’ word, mate, not me. He kept going on about how it was weird and didn’t seem to do anything… I think he was trying to put words in my mouth – maybe he was used to people saying these sorts of things after? I wasn’t sure but it seemed odd.

But yeah, it was ridiculous. Look, having half an hour to lie down and relax without sleeping, and just try to meditate a bit was nice I guess, so yeah you might feel more relaxed after because of that, but that’s got nothing to do with the Reiki. Though it is easier to have a clear mind if you have something to focus on, like if a strange man is touching your shoulder. Personally I just prefer to use the Headspace app…

In the post-session chat, he said ‘the only thing to note is that you might find yourself being more emotional today. So if you do  get emotional, just try to remember it’s to be expected.’ Emotional? Why? Are people not used to being alone with their thoughts and they bring up some emotions? Weird.

I really don’t get it. There’s not even anything to hook people with. There’s no confirmation bias like there is with Astrology (or the witch doctor I wrote about last week). I honestly cannot understand how anyone can buy into this…

I still have three more sessions and not sure what to do with them. Maybe relaxation? I can see the sense in that at least, and it doesn’t pretend to be anything it’s not.

But I am glad I tried it. It was free. No regrets, everything once. And I got to tell you all about it!